That’s how I am feeling right this second.  I have no idea why.  But I’ve been so NERVOUS this afternoon about this cycle.  No good reason…nothing new to report…and I know in fifteen minutes I could likely feel different.  But I’m just feeling the nerves. The whatifitdoesntworkthenwhat nerves, the whatifIletmyselfgetexcitedaboutitandthennothing nerves…good thing my h is out of town, because I’ve been trying to act all nonchalant and easygoing this cycle, as it drives him crazy when I worry.  I’m a worrier by nature.  It’s for sure in my DNA–if you ever met my mom or her mom, you would realize I’m not all that bad based on what I come from!  But the nervousness has commenced.  And I have just under a week left of meds.  This is why I LOVE the time period between the retrieval and the transfer, when my body is responsible for NADA.  It is all up to science and technology and whatever else I may believe has a hand in things…I finally relax during those days (until the day of the transfer, when I sit with shaky hands, sweaty palms and a desperate constant thirst as I wait for the doctor to come in and tell us what we have to work with).  Sisterinlaw today commented on the “hurry up and wait” aspect of IVF.  Ain’t it the truth.  Though I may amend it to “hurry up and worry and wait.”

One Comment, Comment or Ping

  1. I totally understand ALL of those feelings. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I believe that if I relax and let my guard down for a second things won’t work out. And I completely hate that time when you are sitting there waiting anxiously (with your pants off!) to find out what you’re lookin’ at as far as prize-winning (or not so prize-winning) transferable embies.

    It’s the pits. Just know you’re not alone.

    September 8th, 2009

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