Last Post Ever.

So.  I am coming up on the three year anniversary of my blog…and I’ve decided not to continue paying the oodles necessary to keep the site name, etc.  I’ve simply printed out the pages, and hope to put it all together in a binder for the boys (and me) to read some time down the road…you know, in case they wonder “why is Mommy so crazy?”


It was bittersweet to re-read old posts as they came flying out of the printer, recalling the heartache of trying for A, and the subsequent tries for a third (one try wasn’t ever even documented; last September I did a final frozen transfer of four embryos, and did not wind up pregnant).  So that was three decent tries for number three.  And then we moved a few states away, so we’ve stayed busy with all that entails.  I still have baby three on my mind and in my heart…but this past June I turned 36.  Not thinking those eggs I’m still releasing are doing much more than dissolving upon release (ok, who am I kidding, I still kind of think every month may be our “miracle month” that we get pregnant from great sex at the right time.  But I can’t help that).


If we do go forward, it will be a return to a new and less amazeballs clinic than the ones I went to back up North, and therefore my hopes aren’t high.  But I do still dream of it.  I dream of giving the boys (P is turning 6 this fall, A turning 3) a sibling…and I know they want one too.  There are pros and not-so-pros to having a third, I know: but right now, I still kind of only see the pros.  Time will only tell.


This blog saved my sanity, my heart and my soul so many times, and I am so grateful that T had the foresight to see that years ago.  I am so grateful that I can go back and journey through those years again.  I am so grateful, so blessed and going forward, I am only hoping that the path of our life leads me to true inner peace.

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