Ugh, wish my body would freaking metabolize the trigger faster…because there is still a faint line.  I am however glad that I decided to do the “test it out” thing–because it would REALLY HAVE SUCKED if I hadn’t, and then today peed for the first time, and thought that it was a positive test.  They have at least been getting lighter, and I have read that some people take longer than others to metabolize it…so apparently, I can’t even do it in 12 days!


Had another good cry/sobbing-babble to my mom this morning, just needed to get it out, and I am sure there will be one or two more sobbing moments, but for now, I feel a bit lighter that it is all off my chest, and I know I will be able to move on from this.  I know that by next week at this time, I will be ok.  And I will be okay because I have two great little miracles that may never have been–and even after this cycle, having done everything the same as with A’s cycle, I realize he is such a little gift.  It wasn’t some magic potion protocol that Dr. D concocted that was the panacea for my issues–it was a good plan with a lucky lucky outcome.  And for that I am so grateful.  I will for certain enjoy my two boys for the rest of my days, knowing there are some who will never even get to say that.  I will probably always be wistful when I hear of others adding to their family (easily or not), but I will have this ugly stage of life behind me, and I will be able to focus on the now, and the future, rather than what Could Have Been.


Much thanks to those who still read this, who have always rooted for me, and for all in the infertility-blogging world who have helped me on this long journey.  It’s a crappy little club, but it really means something when you know you’re not alone in it.

One Comment, Comment or Ping

  1. You’re not alone.

    Crying is such a great release, we should all do it more often! ;)

    February 17th, 2012

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