Just a few things

Just a few thoughts to jot down for your/my viewing pleasure…

  1. Brach’s mellowcream pumpkins are ridiculous.  I am so glad they don’t have them for sale year-round, or I would be orange.  Already downed a bag since tuesday.  Perhaps they are to blame for the Halloween-like protrusion that has emerged on my chin.  I should paint my face green, grab my broomstick, and head out for a ride…
  2. Today I am feeling particularly thankful and in love with my friendswhodon’treallygetwhatinfertilityislikebutaremybiggestcheerleaders.  I have two friends in particular who are specTACular at this.  One lives near, one lives far.  Both have small children.  Both conceived BAM! right out the gate.  But both are so generous with their ears, their heart, and just their positive energies.  Sometimes it is hard because I want to BE them, and be in their fertile situation–but mostly, I am just so thankful that these friends care so much about me.  Actually, since I am not very private about all of this (I’m an over-sharer.  So I’ve been told), I have a lot a supportive friends, with and without child, young, old, etcetera etcetera.  But M and K…you rock my world (if you ever somehow read this…)
  3. Today I was saying that it would be so awesome to get pregnant off of this IUI cycle because “I deserve this.”  And then…I thought…what??? What does that MEAN?  Why do I deserve this more than the next person?  There is no “level of deserving” when it comes to IF…I am no more “deserving” of a sweet baby than the next person (well, ok, I am more deserving than a crackhead, maybe.)  But really.  No one derserves a baby.  I don’t deserve–I desire.  Huge difference to keep in mind.
  4.  Good luck tomorrow, sil.  I love you so much.  You are stronger than you ever thought you could be–but I’ve known all along that you had this strength.

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