It Happened/May Not Happen

I have not blogged about this at all–but we did an FET in April.  It was fairly uneventful, and based on my 0-for-3 FET history, as well as my notsogreat fresh history, we had little faith.  I tested negative the morning of 6dp5dt…but a light positive that evening.  Squinter light.  It got gradually less-squinty until the beta at 14dpo (a wednesday) came in at an underwhelming 32.  Nothing to get excited about, but not low enough to figure it is completely a chemical.  Slow-forward two days, next bext beta comes in at 85.  Slow-forward three days, beta #3 comes in at 297.  Slow forward three more days, beta comes in at 975.   And four days after that….2999.  Clearly doubling.  Clearly doubling within the window of double-time.  But clearly, low.  Pretty low.  Not hopeless low, just low enough to have limited hope, and I am afraid, to get smashed down.  The following day after beta #4 (so this would be 27 dpo), doctor wanted me in for an ultrasound.  I saw the gest sac.  I BARELYBARELYBARELY saw the yolk sac. Dr saw it.   We did not see a fetal pole (I was technically 5w6d at the appt).  After forcing my doctor to share some information with me (he was satisfied with “see you in two weeks” and I was NOOOOOTTTT), he did give me 50/50 odds that this turns into a viable, healthy pregnancy. I also forced him into telling me what I was measuring (“about 5 weeks”). Yuck.  No one wants a flip of a coin determining their ultimate future.  I tried to be all positive and say, “well, there is as much of a chance it works as there is that it doesn’t!” until my usually optimistic husband introduced the coin-toss analogy and I lost all positivity.


I have heard that FETs take longer to build steam.  I have read stories of people who didn’t see fetal poles at 5w6d and saw one at their next ultrasound.  And I have read many many stories of people who have miscarried after an experience like mine.  Fifty-fifty, not the greatest.  It is going to be a long trip from today (Wedneday, one day past ultrasound) until next Friday, ultrasound number two.  It is the earliest he would do it.  It will also put me at 7w2d.


I am having a hard time understanding why this would happen at the end of the journey–why didn’t the powers that be let me go out with a fizzle, rather than a Bang! No! Wait! No! Not a bang! Just a…….?  So I just wait it out until next Friday.  Not much more to do…but wait and hope.  It’s not in my hands.


9 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Oh how agonizing! I’ve been wondering what happened to you and was about to send an e-mail. Thanks for updating. So, tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed for only the very best of news.

    May 10th, 2012

  2. Alexicographer

    Here from LFCA. I’m sorry. I mean, I’m glad! You’re pregnant. But I’m sorry it’s not a clearer result.

    For whatever it’s worth, my one pregnancy was a beta of 123 17dpo (i.e. retrieval) on a fresh IVF cycle, and he went on to be about the most boringly uneventful pregnancy imaginable (in a good way!), arrived full term and full sized, and is registered to start kindergarten this coming fall. I didn’t even get a u/s done until I was about 8 weeks along (I was traveling between the beta and then). I hope 6 years from now (am I doing the math right? But you see what I mean … after a duration of time has passed similar to what has passed in my world since those first faint double lines) you’ll be putting a post like this on someone else’s blog who needs to see a success story with a similarly sketchy starting point. And yes, my sense was my odds were 50/50 too, at that first moment. Hang on, and I hope you can take gentle care of yourself until things start to seem more certain, even if that takes 9 months.

    May 13th, 2012

  3. Just found your blog (and really loving it) — hoping you got some good news out of this? I have been down this road, ending both ways. Wishing you all the best.

    May 14th, 2012

  4. Jen

    Visiting from LFCA. For my FET in December I had low beta’s like yours and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and doing well! There is lots of hope! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    May 14th, 2012

  5. Sending you hope! I know of a woman who had a very slow implanter – I can’t even tell youher betas were doubling on time, she didn’t see a yolk sac until almost 6 weeks, and no heartbeat until 7 or 8 weeks. She gave birth to a healthy baby a couple months ago, so don’t give up hope yet. Thinking good thoughts for you!

    May 14th, 2012

  6. Hey, I’m visiting from LFCA.

    My situation with my daughter was almost exactly like this. It was a fresh cycle for me. My beta at 14dpo came in at 40, My second came in at 60. They kept limping along in a less-than-doubling fashion. My first US at 5 weeks and change showed a blob and yolk sac. In spite of this underwhelming start, my RE didn’t seem phased in the least after seeing the US (he was concerned it was ectopic). At 7 weeks and 4 days or so we saw a strong heartbeat, and the pregnancy went on from there without a hiccup. I hope that your story has a happy ending too. Some embryos just get off to a slow start. I’ve got everything crossed for you.

    May 14th, 2012

  7. h

    With my daughter (also after FET) my beta was at the very low end of the accpetable range. It doubled, but the numbers where nowhere near the averages. She also measured several days behind for quite a while. Everything was well.

    I had a HUGE beta during my first pregnancy followed by a miscarriage.

    Hang in there. Everything crossed.

    May 15th, 2012

  8. Just found your blog. Hoping all turns out well like the other ladies said. Praying for patience and good results as you wait for friday!

    May 17th, 2012

  9. Here from LFCA – nothing is easy about this journey, is it? Every ounce of hope I have is headed your way. I’ve added you to my bloglist… looking forward to following your journey as you move towards your happy ending. Hugs.

    May 19th, 2012

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