http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11fertility.html
The cover of today’s New York Times (a paper I never read, and now I recall why) has an article about the risks of IVF. While the article itself seems to just look at the repercussions of multiple-embryo transfers on society (meaning, an increased risk of twins and the complications that arise there for the mother as well as healthcare companies that foot the bill for some of these complications), the comments left online by some readers are completely and utterly disturbing. I want to cry. I want to crash my computer against the hard tile floor. I want to scream and shout and personally go and find these ignorant jerks (I have so many more names in my head right now) who are classifying women such as myself as greedy, immoral, neanderthal, unacceptable, selfish and self-centered. The number of people who commented that people who cannot get pregnant should “just adopt” or should “look into foster care” is incredible. One commenter even compared doing IVF treatments with getting a puppy from a “puppy mill” versus going to the pound.
Why are there so many stupid people? Ignorant, ignorant bastards. I take this so personally. I will admit, that I am not 100% sure how I feel about insurance companies paying for these procedures. In our case, it is a blessing that has taken some of the burden off of us, and has allowed me to add acupuncture and other assistances to the process. If we did not have some coverage, we wouldnt have made it this far. But then again, if it is not covered at all, wouldn’t IVF be exclusively a “rich person” thing? Only the wealthier can create a family this way? And along that line, we all know very well that adoption is not cheap. It can run almost double what an IVF cycle would run. So couples with less access to money cannot do IVF OR adopt? So they should not have ANY means by which to have a family? Give me a freaking break. Assholes.
I am so worked up right now that my heart is palpitating and I’m afraid to go and run any errands for fear of what I may be like behind the wheel. There is so much more I want to say about this topic, about the comments, and about just how low, how despicable, how pathetic, and just plain BAD I now feel about myself and what I am trying to do. I don’t know what that says about me, that I am so affected by these comments from people I don’t even know–but I guess it makes me think there are people out there who know me, and know what we have gone through, and probably think we are wrong. Then again, most people that know us and truly care about us, have asked detailed questions about the procedures and our feelings and our decisions–and I have never felt judged (well, a few times maybe. But that was before similar issues arose for those folks, and they wound up in comparable situations. Irony abounds…)
Anyway. I just wanted to vent about this somewhere…and now that I have, I will get up, take a few deep breaths, and think of my little man sleeping in his room right now. A million NYT readers could show up at my door, spit in my face for what I have done and what I continue to do, and it wouldnt matter. Because I have so much gratitude for the son I have, and for the way he was conceived. Nothing can change that or take that away.
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