This weekend it hit me like two friggin tons of bricks.  I had a new nephew born, and while I love love loved seeing all the new baby pictures of my brother’s son, I was saddened somewhere deep inside, knowing I may not ever know that again.  And by may, I mean probably.  I then also was going through things for a garage sale (we may or may not be making a North-to-South move in the next year) and I was crushed by a sea of baby things–things I bought for/registered for when I was pregnant with P, saved through the dark times trying for A…and now I may be getting rid of it all?  Oh sigh.  And cry.  And be so fcuking pissed sometimes that PEOPLE CAN HAVE SEX AND GET PREGNANT.  Okay, I am not pissed they can get pregnant.  Rah rah, happy for ‘em.  But why the FRICK can’t I??  That’s more the thing.  I don’t begrudge those who CAN–I begrudge my own disability to CAN-NOT.

Blech…………

(BUT, beta was down to 26 last week, so hoping to get a lower number this week, reach zero, get a period in a week or so, and then BAM! bang out my last FET.  Summer fun, let it roll….)